Life is not always easy.
Sometimes I have a hard time to see what I’ve achieved the past 3 years. I dropped out of school when I quit my medical drugs(Benzodiazipines and Morphine). At first when I quit school it felt like the world was mine. I thought I was so amazingly smart and were gonna have my own startup and earn a shit load of money. I did start to build on a webapp called “The Peoples Magazine”, it was suppose to be a collaborative newspaper. The same year I got the Idea to make a documentary movie about surviving alone in the wild. So I stayed for 32 days in the wild. The year after the making of the documentary and quitting school was though, but at least now I had quit my Morphine and Benzo abuse.
Time passed by
I jumped from one thing to another blaming a lot on personal issues. Like passed medical drug addiction, feelings of anxiety and negative unuseful thoughts. Later on I moved back and forth between Sweden and Barcelona. These three years can be described as arrogance, delusional, anxiety, lonely and wasted thoughts. But also a time were I developed some strengths and got to know my inborn strengths and weaknesses.
I feel very happy and in control of my life most of the time. Way better than what I did a few years back. But I notice that I still have some mental knots and negative thoughts. These thoughts are often negative assumptions and fear of failure.
Now I’m focusing to narrow down what I want and building a clear picture. I’ve decided that my path in life will be IT, Film and Music (Still quite a lot). But I still want that easy fix. Someone helping me to get around people I like, do things that I like and start accepting that making money is a part of life. I don’t know if I should aim for employment or my own business. I just want to start working with people and having a organized secure life. At least for a while…